Part Two: During The Mediation Process
This is part 2 of a 3 part series.
Divorce is tough, and it can be costly. While an attorney-driven divorce battle can take months if not years and cost tens of thousands of dollars, it is possible for couple’s to engage in a collaborative divorce process. We utilize divorce mediators to help you through using our custom divorce mediation process. If you’re looking into alternatives to a traditional divorce route and hiring expensive divorce attorneys, consider these tips.
- Think about your end goals and identify areas you are willing to compromise.
Jot down some notes about what types of terms you envision in your divorce agreement. If you have kids, what do you think would be a fair custody schedule? Do you think you should split all assets 50/50? What are issues you refuse to compromise on and areas that are less important? Thinking about these issues prior to the mediation will help get to a resolution efficiently and fairly.
- Figure your ordinary living expenses and monthly income.
In a divorce, couples must negotiate two financial aspects, both day to day and long term assets. Day to day finances include your regular income and your normal living expenses. Try to identify your day to day expenses by reviewing spending habits over the last few months — think about your mortgage or rent, utilities, grocery bill, day care or tuition, car payments, and other regular expenses. Coming to the table understanding your day-to-day finances will make things a lot clearer because you’ll know your limits.
- Identify and if possible value your long-term assets.
Long term assets include things like your home, retirement accounts, mutual funds, and other investments. They could include non-traditional items like vacation timeshares, coins or other collectables, and even Ravens Personal Seat Licenses (PSLs). Some items are easy to value – look up your retirement account balances as close to your mediation date as possible, for example. Others you may need to research or call in an expert, like your home’s current value, or how much your rare coin collection might go for.
- Think about anything you need to say to be at peace.
Unfortunately, a lot of divorce cases go through a court process because of emotions. And who can blame someone who has been hurt, or has lost trust in someone they love, for being emotional about this traumatizing experience? It can be cathartic and put you at peace to get your thoughts off your chest. Tell the mediator you’d like to have a chance to address your spouse, and prepare a few notes for what you’d like to say.
Please reach out to us today for a free consultation with a divorce attorney mediator.