In our last post, we discussed the Anatomy of a Divorce: Deciding on Divorce, Negotiating a Separation, and Divorce with a Capital D.  Today, we’ll discuss what to do when you and your spouse decide to get divorced. Or in other words, Now What?

Unfortunately, 46% of marriages end in separation and divorce.  Sometimes the decision to get divorced can happen in an instant: you come home early and your spouse is in bed with a lover! We’re getting a divorce! Or, it can take years: you’re sleeping in separate bedrooms, you’ve gone through dozens of counseling sessions, and you barely talk to one another.  Once you and/or your spouse have made the decision to get a divorce you are probably wondering, “Now What?”

The first and perhaps most obvious route is for each person to hire a divorce lawyer or family law attorney.  A divorce lawyer is an attorney who focuses their professional time on divorce, custody, and family law.  (If you got arrested, your first call would be to a criminal defense lawyer, right?!) Friends and family may encourage you to “lawyer up” or call Divorce Lawyer Larry – the best divorce attorney in town (and a price tag to match!).  

Divorce Lawyers — including the attorney mediators at Maryland Divorce Mediators — are good at what they do, and that is protect your interests and negotiate a divorce settlement or separation agreement for you.  A divorce lawyer will be your advocate and guide through the divorce process.  Usually a divorce lawyer will ask for a retainer (a deposit for their services) which will range from as low as $1500 up to $25,000 or more.  Don’t worry, this is just the deposit — you can expect to pay a lot more in legal fees over the course of your divorce above the initial retainer.

Other couples attempt to negotiate the divorce on their own.  Some couples may borrow agreements from friends or family and try to re-write the agreement to suit their own needs.  You may find cheap or free form agreements online to guide you through the divorce process.  If you broke your leg, would you set the bone yourself?

At Maryland Divorce Mediators, we offer an alternative somewhere in the middle — what we call collaborative divorce.  Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation is appropriate where the divorcing couple can “agree to disagree.”  Where both couples can fairly represent their own interests in an informal setting (compared to court), our experienced mediators will guide you through the issues in a divorce or separation and help you arrive at a resolution.  

Maryland Divorce Mediators’ proprietary collaborative divorce process cuts away the formalities of “lawyering up” (particularly the expenses and time) to help couples get to a fair and equitable resolution quickly.  With an experienced divorce attorney mediator, couples will get the benefit of a divorce lawyer without jumping through the extra hoops (read: Cost and Drama) of a full divorce process.

If you have questions about our Collaborative Divorce and Divorce Mediation process, please contact us today and one of our attorney mediators will provide you with a brief, free consultation as soon as possible.