The “Roommate Phase” of breaking up

You still love each other, you don’t want to hurt each other, you get along, but you just are not IN LOVE with them anymore. Divorce seems too dramatic for you, or splitting up seems too costly or emotionally taxing on you or the kids.

This sometimes awkward phase of a breakup is known as the “Roommate Phase.”  

Here are some things to consider if you’re in the Roommate Phase:

• Children: Developing a co-parenting plan and custody schedule for the children as you separate can ease the burden of divorce on your children.  How do you tell the kids? Who is responsible for child care duties during the Roommate Phase?  Custody and co-parenting plans can always be modified, so coming up with a short-term or temporary plan during the Roommate Phase is a good first step.

• Marital Home: Sometimes one party may keep the marital home (or family home), with the other party receiving cash or other considerations for his or her equitable share of the home.  In some cases, the parties decide to sell the home or let a lease expire, which can take time.  Navigating your options while still residing together can save headache and hassle down the road.

• Monthly Financial Obligations:  How you and your spouse will divide up regular financial obligations – the mortgage, the utility bills, car payments, credit card debt, other loans, can depend a lot on what your plan moving forward in a separation might look like.  As you begin to untie your financials from your spouse, working out the logistics of the monthly financial obligations is important to smooth the transition.

• Health Insurance and Benefits:  Many families are covered under one spouse’s health insurance plan.  Upon divorce, the opposite spouse will be required to find his or her own health insurance.  Making a plan for everyone in the family to remain covered is crucial in any pre-separation discussion.

• Taxes: The IRS treats married and single people differently.  The IRS also allows for child tax credits once per child.  Negotiating these and other tax issues prior to a separation and divorce is a good way to avoid some sticky tax situations.